Are you "busy" with lots of "activity" but not achieving anything? Are you consumed with negative emotion and thoughts that are holding you back from taking action? Do you blame others when things go wrong? Are you unhappy in your work at the moment?
If you answered No to these questions then that is awesome, great job, keep doing what you're doing because it is working for you at the moment. If you answered Yes to one or more of these questions...I invite you to read on...
Sometimes we find ourselves in a place of negativity, blame, inaction, and poor results. This means we are stuck. When we are stuck we often become a VERB:
V = Victim - persistent complaining
E = Entitlement - I deserve...
R = Rescue - someone NEEDS to get me out of this
B = Blame - It's not my fault it is everyone else
VERB's fill their head with perceptions of how things should be and what others should do. VERB's think: Why did this happen to me? What's wrong? Who is to blame? When you notice yourself being a VERB - it is time to change your mindset and change the questions you ask youself. Great leaders will transform those negative thoughts to breakthrough thoughts. In order to do this you need to be vulnerable, responsible, curious and courageous.
Change the questions
Instead of asking "Why did this happen to me?", replace it with "What happened?". The key to answering this question is to focus only on the facts, the real data, not your thoughts, perceptions, assumptions. This is hard to do because we are wired to overlay all our experiences to interpret what happened. Instead, just stick to the facts, be an observer when answering this question.
Next ask yourself "What is missing?". This is where you need to be open to discovery. There could be a number of things missing such as: a skill, a conversation (with yourself or someone else), a process, a practice, a request...the list goes on. Be honest with yourself about what is really missing.
Now instead of asking "Who is to blame" ask yourself "What do I need to do next to move me into action?". After you've completed your observer assessment and self reflection this is where the magic happens. Leaders take action. Taking action often needs characteristics such as vulnerability and courage, especially when you and your identity are at perceived risk. Actions such as having a difficult conversation, learning a new skill, practicing a new behaviour, asking someone for help, being open to changing a process that has worked for you in the past. All this actions requires a person to step up and be a leader. No-one else can do it for you, only you.
Are you stuck?
yours in health and leadership, Jo-Anne.